Sex/Life, Penis Size, and Male vs. Female Insecurities

Get ready for a saucy video this week.

Today, we have flawlessness at our fingertips—how is reality supposed to compete?  In the comments, I’d love it if you shared a unique feature you appreciate about yourself. Those features are beautiful stories that are too often erased by the sweep of a filter.



Matthew:

Have you seen the series Sex Life yet on Netflix?

Stephen:

Sex Life it’s called?

Matthew:

It’s called Sex Life, yes.

Stephen:

No, I haven’t seen it.

Matthew:

Unlike this podcast is called Love Life, the show is Sex Life. I was at a party the other night. It was for my friend Ryan, he’s having a little birthday party, and there were a group of women who were talking about the show Sex Life, which I have seen on Netflix. I haven’t actually watched it.

From the trailers, and I’m just speaking about the trailers, is about a woman who’s in a marriage where they’ve got a kid. He sort of comes home, gives her, you know, a quick casual kiss on the cheek, and then gives lots of his attention to the kid instead, and then says, “I’ll see you later,” or “I’m going to go and watch the game.”

Meanwhile, she’s got an ex that she’s, again, I’m just reading from the description on YouTube now, Stephen, she’s got sort of, they didn’t say sordid. They said sort of a she has like a interesting sexual past. They didn’t use the adjective, interesting. They use something else that was a bit saucy. I can’t remember what it was. But basically the insinuation is she’s had a mad old time with her ex-

Stephen:

Oh, all right.

Matthew:

… who’s British, I think, and-

Stephen:

Figures.

Matthew:

Right, and she’s had a pretty wild sex life with him. But now she’s in this stale old marriage.

There’s a renowned scene now that they were talking about where the guy’s in the shower, and he’s just got an enormous penis, which I was surprised they showed, which I suppose shows the inherent sexism in movies and TV, but I was still very surprised.

Stephen:

Which guy, though?

Matthew:

Who do you think, Stephen?

Stephen:

Right.

Matthew:

Do you think it was the boring husband?

Stephen:

No. It’s old Big Ben, innit…

Matthew:

Right. Very good. So they’ve added to this fantasy, this pornography is essentially what it is, right? It’s pornography of the mind.

Actually, I suppose one at the point of which you’re just showing an enormous penis in the shower, it might be starting to cross over in just pornography. Well, no, see there’s the inherent sexism again because we see women’s parts on TV and movies all the time, don’t we?

Anyway, I heard this and there was guys at the party… It was quite funny because there was a guy at the party who was like, I immediately went, this is no joke, a guy said, “I immediately went and googled that actor’s shoe size.” He goes, “Because I wanted to know if it was real.”

Firstly, as if there just always is a… Like you know for sure from someone’s feet size what it is. And if he was like a size seven he’d have gone, “Oh, phew. Thank God.”

Stephen:

And that Google has accurate feet sizes for all actors is suspicious as well.

Matthew:

Right. Yeah. We can’t even trust Wikipedia on my height. Wikipedia had my height wrong for years. They’re not exactly going to get my shoe size right.

Stephen:

Yeah. You’re five-foot-three.

Matthew:

According to Wikipedia, I was five-seven for years, and I’m not, everyone, all right?

Stephen:

Right, you’re right.

Matthew:

I’m five-eleven. I could say six foot, but I’m an honest man.

Stephen:

Yeah, that is honest.

Matthew:

Stephen, I thought it would be good for someone on a dating app if you were five-eleven as a man, and I… If I was a man, which I am, and I was on a dating app, if you put five-eleven, and then somewhere on the thing you could put, “Why you should date me? Well, you know I’m honest because I said I was five-eleven.”

Stephen:

That’s good. That was good.

Matthew:

It’s good, aint it?

Stephen:

If I was five-eleven, I would use that.

Matthew:

Right? Wow. What a little dig.

Stephen:

It’s not. That is not a dig.

Matthew:

What a dig. So here’s my dilemma. Do I have to watch this show so that we can make a video on it?

Stephen:

Sorry, that… Okay. Do we have to watch a show? What were the women saying about the fact that… Were they like, “Oh, British man is so hunky. You would want to go and have a romp with your ex?” Or were they… It sounds like they were on the side of fidelity and commitment.

Matthew:

One of them was a bit annoyed that she hadn’t just had more of a conversation with her husband first, but that wouldn’t have really played to the fantasy, I suppose, is months of couples therapy trying to work it out, talking about the feelings you’ve been having.

Stephen:

This thing sounds as well very designed to provoke the sort of angry male community who feel like they’re always writing these sort of hate articles that like women are only as faithful as their options, and, oh, there’s some sexy guy and as soon as he shows up, as soon as he’s higher value and has a big old boy down there, then she’s off, so.

Matthew:

Stephen, I always remember, it’s funny how you look at things and you go, this is… God, not to get too philosophical or sound too old, but it’s, like, there’s so much of what we read and see creates insecurities. Do you know what I mean? It might be in the value of entertainment. It might be in the way of an article.

I remember when I was a kid, I was like 11 years old, just sort of nearing that age where you started to worry about things, one of them your penis size, and I remember the day I started worrying about penis size. I was reading-

Stephen:

Really?

Matthew:

Yeah, I remember it. I was reading an article in FHM. Do you remember there was that band, that girl band Mis-Teeq?

Stephen:

Yeah.

Matthew:

In the UK they were an old Garage band.

Stephen:

Yeah.

Matthew:

And for those of you that don’t know in the UK, there was… Garage was like two-step. It was kind of a sort of sped-up, something between hip-hop and drum and bass on the register, and I used to DJ that sound a lot. And Mis-Teeq was one of the commercial Garage bands, and there was the main woman from Mis-Teeq, she was really beautiful, and I used to fancy her quite a lot. And I just remember… I was reading FHM, which I was too young to be reading FHM, lots of saucy articles.

Stephen:

It was the ’90s lads’ mag era, the ’90s, early 2000 lads’ mags. And that was one of the sort of cleaner ones, but a little bit saucy.

Matthew:

But you could still read some sauce in there as a kid.

Stephen:

Yeah. Yeah. They had sex tips and-

Matthew:

You could get…

Stephen:

Yeah.

Matthew:

Exactly. Yeah, which every 11-year-old needs, obviously, but, though, I went there for my sauce, and there was a little article with her. It was just like an interview with the lead singer of Mis-Teeq and they asked her like, “Does penis size matter?”, Right?

Now, this is a moment where she’s going to leave an imprint on me. I think she’s gorgeous. I fancy her a lot. You know, I DJ her music. What’s she going to say? This is the ultimate verdict? And she goes… By the way, I can’t remember her name, but apology, if she’s a listener of this podcast, which, Stephen, I’ll tell you, it’s more than possible these days because Rebel Wilson put out a story this morning about how she loved our last podcast together.

Stephen:

Shout out to Rebel.

Matthew:

She absolutely loved it. Yeah. We should get Rebel on here, Stephen, you know?

Stephen:

That’d be brilliant.

Matthew:

She’s a listener. So, Rebel, if you’re listening to this, this is me putting public pressure on you, friend, to come join us. So, you know, it possible that the lead singer for Mis-Teeq is listening to this, but it did have an impact because here’s what she said. She said, “Well, if it’s not big enough…” I literally remember the words of this, Stephen. Can you believe that?

Stephen:

It was a great piece. That’s a great piece.

Matthew:

She said, “If it’s not big enough, how are you ever going to, to get to those hard-to-reach places?” She made it sound like some sort of cavernous, like a cave of wonders that had all sorts of different tunnels you could go down.

Stephen:

Some sort of online adventure game.

Matthew:

“If it’s not big enough, how are you going to get to those hard-to-reach places?” By the way, she may have never said that. I’ve been misquoted in many a magazine and newspaper. So it’s possible she said it doesn’t matter and that the writer then took that to mean what they wrote.

But this was what came across, and it stuck with me through those teenage years. That’s how easily a insecurity can be born. By the way, think about that now. That was me at 11 from an FHM article. Think of kids now with Instagram, disaster.

Stephen:

Yeah, yeah.

Matthew:

Imagine I was 11 watching Sex Life, I’m not hearing it from the lead singer of Mis-Teeq, I’m seeing a guy with a third leg in the shower-

Stephen:

But Boogie Nights.

Matthew:

… and I’m thinking, “Good Lord.” Well, I suppose boys are getting that anyway from porn, aren’t they, when they’re watching porn.

Matthew:

Where are we in this podcast? My point is-

Stephen:

So your point is, what, body insecurities stay with you?

Matthew:

I suppose my point is that these shows are great as stories. They are like that cheap magazine or comic book that you’re reading just for some sort of fantasy story.

Stephen:

Yeah.

Matthew:

They’re probably not something we should take many lessons from.

Stephen:

I see Instagram a little bit that way you’re talking about as well, where I treat that… A lot of people say that Instagram and things makes them feel insecure. You’ve got guys with like rippling six-packs. You’ve got women who look like glamor models and they’re kind of everywhere, right?

But I treat that as like a pulpy comic book, silly magazine. I see it as like a cartoon thing. I know they’re real people, but I just, like, these are people doing like an extreme version of a kind of play-acting, and they’re really disproportionately mutated. Like they’re just focusing completely on their body and air-brushing it, changing it. That’s my way of putting myself removed from that. I’m, like, this is silly cartoon, comic book version of beauty, and I kind of treat it as all a bit of a silly game.

Matthew:

That’s a good way of looking at it, it’s like a comic book. It’s just these ridiculous accentuated things. That’s a really good way of putting it. And, of course, accentuated both by the attention they’re given in someone’s profile with every other picture is a picture of his six-pack abs. And also accentuated quite literally through the filters and tools they now have to be able to do it. Yeah.

Stephen:

And it’s like I want burritos in my life, you know? I haven’t got that kind of… It’s like, let them do that thing. That’s cool. You can have the protein shakes for lunch. You can have that.

Matthew:

I quite like it when a woman posts a photo of like the bikini photo of two, literally the same moment, but just a slightly different pose that show-

Stephen:

Oh, yeah. Those are good ones.

Matthew:

… this is how different you can make your arse look in the space of three seconds for a photo. One of them will make the world insecure about their arse, and the other one will make us all feel united in our arses. And I quite like that because it makes it so evident how so many of the things we’re comparing ourselves to it’s not just an unrealistic expectation for ourselves. It’s an unrealistic expectation for themselves, for the one that posted it, that they can’t even live up to that three seconds later after the photo is taken. I think that’s fascinating.

*******************************************************************************************************

Well, we’ve come to the end of the video. Did you like it? No, I mean really did you hit the Like button, or did you just sit there? Please like the video, hit the Like button, hit the Subscribe button if you’re not subscribed. Join the club and hit the notification bell so that the next time a video is coming out, I can stalk you with it.

The post Sex/Life, Penis Size, and Male vs. Female Insecurities appeared first on Get The Guy.