In this week’s video, my brother Stephen and I dig into a fascinating study in which nearly half of the people surveyed said they would call off a date if they weren’t feeling great about their body that day.
I hope this video inspires you to go a little easier on yourself, and I’d love it if you left me a comment letting me know what you think.
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Stephen:
There was a study that said that more than half of people would cancel a date due to poor body image.
Matthew:
Oh, wow.
Stephen:
And this was amongst young people, but it was talking about a little study that was done by Bumble. But a lot of young people felt like they would cancel a date because of an insecurity about their body. That’s even like rejecting yourself before you’ve even gone on the date. It’s like, “Because I might not live up to something” or “This person’s better than me. And if I don’t live up to what they are, then I’m going to be a disappointment.”
Matthew:
It’s so fascinating because if you take that example, it’s almost certainly not going to be something they notice. Literally, last night I was having dinner with a friend and he said to me, he was like, “I saw a couple of pictures of you from your tour on your Instagram.” He said, “Do you always get in shape for your tour?” And I said, “Well, if I’m going touring, in the couple of months running up to it, I start taking my training a bit more seriously. I know I’m going to be on stage.” If I feel good on stage, it’s one less thing to think about. Right? It’s like I can truly just focus on… So I understand what people feel on a date because I feel it when I go on stage. I think to myself, “If I’m not trying to hold in my gut while I talk, then it’s one less thing for me to have to think about.” I can then just go and focus on doing a great job.
But then I said to him, “But right now, I’m in okay shape, but I’m not as lean as I normally am.” And he looked at me and he was like, “I’ve never seen you looking any different.
Stephen:
Right.
Matthew:
He’s like, “You’ve literally never looked any different to me on any of the times I’ve seen you.” And that just sums it up, doesn’t it?
Stephen:
Yeah, yeah.
Matthew:
We spend so much time measuring the, what for most of us is a 10 or 20% fluctuation in either direction, and thinking that everyone is noticing that fluctuation. And the truth is most people genuinely, not least of which a person you’re meeting for a date, they are definitely not noticing.
Stephen:
Yeah.
Matthew:
And yet, it’s so on our mind. And the great tragedy of it is that what’s really going to have an impact on that date is not our body difference there. I get there’s body difference and there’s body difference. Like for some of us, when we are truly a world away from being in shape and that is massively impacting our self-esteem and the way we feel and all of that, then that can be a real thing. But then it becomes not a reason not to date, but it just becomes a path you put yourself on to be healthier.
But if we’re putting ourselves under a microscope over what we see is a fluctuation in our body that’s not that great, but we’re canceling a date because of it, we are missing the point, which is that the thing that is going to be most attractive about us is how we carry ourselves, is the energy that we put across. And the most unattractive thing will be all of the ways that we are self-conscious and doubt ourselves, and think that we’re not good enough. It will not be your body.
Stephen:
Yeah.
Matthew:
The most unattractive thing will be how much you doubt your own worth.
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Matthew:
Before you go, did you know that the MH Virtual Retreat is coming up? This is three days of coaching immersion, where we’re going to be working on your ability to manage your emotions, your confidence, and your direction in life. I hope you’ll join us, it’s going to be the most amazing event. It’s the best thing that I do. I really believe that, and so many people’s lives are changed by this. If you want to find out more, go to MHvirtualretreat.com and I’ll see you over there.
The post Too Unsexy to Date? The Truth About Body Image & Attraction appeared first on Get The Guy.
Author: Amaury Abreu
